I’ve fallen and I can't get up! (Or can I?) → Fallen Pastors: Is there a way back to the pulpit? (A christian clinician’s perspective on pastors who have “fallen” and are seeking restoration)

My husband prompted me to think about this topic and share some thoughts. In the wake of a slew of pastors being smeared and scrutinized in the public eye, some justifiably if I am honest, for some major infractions and lapses in judgment, he flat out asked me “Sheri, should they ever get to be back in the pulpit again?” He had his opinion about it and I listened. And I was torn. 

Let me start with this- my MAIN purpose for existing, besides raising my babies and loving my husband, is to advocate for mental health support and proper scaffolding through ABUNDANT accountability for ministry leaders. I think this should be an actively, intentionally, consistently interwoven element in their training, in their work assignments, and once in their positions, within their administrative team structure. Pastors, clergy, ministry leaders, priests, teachers of the gospel, missionaries, evangelists, celebrities for Jesus in their various fields— they NEED counselors! It should be mandatory. Administrative assistant, agent, financial advisor/accountant, and a licensed clinical THERAPIST. The mental drain on these individuals is insane. How we could expect them to stand strong under such pressures and never mess up is beyond me. But also–do we properly vet these folks through any formal assessments to expose mental health vulnerabilities or unhealed areas BEFORE we stand them in pulpits? Are we asking about their past, habits, addictions, struggles? NOT to judge or shame them, but to ensure proper support, guidance, deliverance and accountability BEFORE they stand and represent the gospel. Once they have been caught with pornography, sexual misconduct with minors, fraternizing with celebrities and aiding in their poor behaviors all for some cheap “woke Christian photo op” (don’t get me started on that!)--we’re too late. All we can do now is damage control. But what about getting to these issues BEFORE they start?! What about that!?

Now, clearly we can't go back in time once these issues hit the headlines and the body of Christ gets dragged through the mud in a society looking for ANY opportunity to make Jesus and His followers look bad. Not to mention the disillusionment of the congregants and young followers whose example just became a statistic with a felony record. My God. But, once we’re here, what do we do?

The following responses are my OPINION, I repeat, MY OPINION. 

1. Proverbs 29:2 TPT says,  “You are your own worst enemy when you partner with a thief, for a curse of guilt will come upon you when you fail to report a crime.” The Word is pretty clear here and I fully agree-you do the crime, you do the time. Period. One of the mistakes I think we make as Christians once we have a pastor or leader caught in or accused and convicted of something illegal or at the very least highly problematic– we should seek legal counsel immediately. No “in-house” chats, no unofficial private wrist- slapping with no regard for the victims/those impacted. No ‘mom and pop’ justice that continues to leave the church vulnerable to further scandal.  If a pastor abuses a minor, misappropriates funds,  is caught with child pornography or found out as abusing their spouse- stop everything and consult the authorities. We have laws. We have rules and associated consequences for specific crimes. We should not be trying to cover things up or water it down for the sake of appearances– because clearly it will only backfire. If the police, DCPP, or a lawyer are the indicated authorities to weigh in- do NOT avoid that step. No exceptions. 

   
   

2. Once step one has happened, if applicable, the next immediate step is to get ahead of the press and the gossip and let the church/those impacted know. Tell the truth and curb the slander. You won't be able to avoid it altogether, but at least you will go down as having done what you can to be forthright. 

   
   

3. Set up counseling. ASAP. If it is not built into the “reparations/consequences”

   package so to speak, then it needs to be mandatory- for an indefinite amount of time. How did this leader get to the point of these Holy Spirit shushing, ultimately damaging actions? Something was unfinished, unhealed, unaddressed, unnoticed, and proper counsel can help to uncover that hidden root and bring it to the surface for true addressing, and healing. As a therapist who has had cases for as little as 6 weeks and as long as 4+ years unpacking trauma– you can't put a timestamp on this. It just needs to be a part of the healing process. 

   
   

4. Ok— steps 1-3 complete—we see changes, the family can attest to the noted progress, legal advice and justice systems are satisfied…..can he/she come back to center stage/pulpit/leadership now? It depends. And because this is a blog by a Christian for Christians it seems appropriate that the only place we can turn for final decisions is The Word. WWJD? Let’s see. 

   
   

“My beloved friends, if you see a believer who is overtaken with a fault, the one who is in the Spirit should seek to restore him in the Spirit of gentleness. But keep watch over your own heart so that you won’t be tempted to exalt yourself over him.”‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭1‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Takeaway: Keyword there - “seek” to restore. So there is a process - it doesn’t say restore immediately. You take the time to create a path towards restoration that the fallen believer has to participate in. And this restoration journey should be monitored by someone who has PROVEN longevity in faith and integrity and is spiritually strong enough to be this accountability source and watchful eye and not just as susceptible due to their own historical issues of falling into the same weakness. But also- notice what this scripture does NOT say- it’s not talking about restoring them to a specific position necessarily - it’s about restoring them in fellowship and actively enveloping them in reminders of their worth, their place in Christ. Whether or not that includes an actual re- establishment into their leadership role may take additional assessment. You can be restored in fellowship but not restored to your position. 

“If your fellow believer sins against you, you must go to that one privately and attempt to resolve the matter. If he responds, your relationship is restored. But if his heart is closed to you, then go to him again, taking one or two others with you. You’ll be fulfilling what the Scripture teaches when it says, ‘Every word may be verified by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ And if he refuses to listen, then share the issue with the congregation in hopes of restoration. If he still refuses to respond, even to the church, then you must disregard him as though he were an outsider, on the same level as an unrepentant sinner.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Takeaway: Here is a roadmap. As we assess if the right steps have been taken towards considering restoring, when it’s truly permitted, a fallen leader into their role, we have to see to it that we’ve followed this template which is really getting at the individual’s heart towards repentance and change. First as we see an issue, suspect one or concerns surface, we need to talk to them 1:1 and see if honesty or taking ownership happens then. If not, there’s additional accountability that needs to come into place, bringing in witnesses. Perhaps this is where a church board comes into play. If this warning doesn’t yield the desired change in behavior then the issue is made public. God is not playing. And truthfully, as we’ve seen, once a leadership infraction hits the larger church or worse yet the headlines, if THAT doesn’t make someone stop dead in their sin tracks — there really is nothing else to be done but fully cut this person off and leave them to their own vices. They are making an active choice to rebel against righteousness- and we know how God handled Satan when he took that route…. 

This is also backed up in this scripture: “But if indeed you find that they have sinned, bring correction to them before the congregation so that the rest of the people will respect you.” 1 Timothy‬ ‭5‬:‭20‬ ‭TPT‬‬- emphasis mine. 

“Finally, as members of God’s beloved family, we must go after the one who wanders from the truth and bring him back. For the one who restores the sinning believer back to God from the error of his way, gives back to his soul life from the dead, and covers over countless sins by their demonstration of love!” ‭‭James (Jacob)‬ ‭5‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Takeaway: This is beautiful redemption work spelled out here. We are definitely to make the effort to go after the one that’s struggling with sin. It is a life and death matter! We are not to reject them instantly and put up walls - we seek to love them back to the truth- but remember, that return is ultimately up to them. Key point is- we don’t just leave them hanging in their issue once it’s known and we see them slipping. Especially the pastor! How many public shamings could have been avoided if someone had the guts to call a pastor out on the concerning actions or decisions being made and tell the truth in love—not turn a blind eye because of their position? 

Remember if things get to the point of becoming a public issue or a larger legal matter, you can rest assured that God has already been privately pricking this person's heart through the conviction of the Holy Spirit- and clearly unsuccessfully. God will start with a little candlelight on the issue, but if you refuse to change, especially as one responsible for the spiritual guidance of others, He takes that very seriously and will shift to throwing the floodlights on your junk. Trust is broken when a person of supposed integrity, strength and leadership commits a moral failure. It’s just the weight that comes with the calling (hence my being an advocate for better vetting and accountability/counseling support for ministry leaders!) 

Another thing to consider in the restoration process- specifically to the pulpit- is the case of a congregant or congregants being victims of the leader’s abuse. If they remain members of that church or ministry, then they should get to weigh in on what happens. I mean honestly - if your pastor or youth leader was found to have assaulted your minor child while serving — completed their ‘penance’ for all intents and purposes — and was coming up on “review” … how would you feel about seeing them back in the pulpit? I know as far as minors are concerned, assuming proper legal action was taken, some parameters are built in for several years if not for that person's lifetime regarding what spaces they can legally be in and the church should and must abide by those constraints. But beyond those more black and white areas, plenty of gray exists. It then comes down to how repentant is this individual, have all of the areas of addressing the infraction been exhausted and corroborated, and is this individual strong enough to handle, with grace, the potentially long standing ripple effects of their actions recognizing that even if they are able to resume some level of leadership involvement, they will be monitored, watched, and some people will unfortunately never forget what they’ve heard even though the person has made amends and is restored? If they don’t have the strength of character to back up their healing journey, they should opt to remain a congregant and pursue other areas of serving in the body where God leads them. 

Finally, there is a period point–where God says to just let the person go and cut them loose.

“After a first and second warning, have nothing more to do with a divisive person who refuses to be corrected. For you know that such a one is entwined with his sin and stands self-condemned.” ‭‭Titus‬ ‭3‬:‭10‬-‭11‬ ‭TPT‬‬ 

“Stubborn people who repeatedly refuse to accept correction will suddenly be broken and never recover.” Proverbs 29:1 TPT

I tell my clients as it comes to who they allow into or back into their lives after they’ve done deep personal work on their boundaries and self awareness — it always comes down to consistent patterns of behavior. There’s a common saying “when someone shows you who they are- believe them.” If this individual - regardless of rank or position- maintains an air of superiority, behaves as if they are above reproach and persist in a pattern of poor and ungodly action- doesn’t matter if it’s legally actionable or just morally inconsistent with God's Word (gossiping, back-biting, creates conflict, disrespectful to others verbally) let them go! Don’t question it, don’t continue to try and “fix” them - let their actions speak for them and release them from their duties. That’s a deep heart issue and only God, if permitted, can address that, but the people looking up to them need to be spared of their negative influence. Period. The Bible talks about what happens when one’s conscience is seared (1 Tim. 4:2)- there’s no getting through to them and you have to just let them go and accept their fate.  At that juncture you just  protect your church or team or family, whoever, and remove their access to harm anyone with their rebellion. 

So what’s my final answer you ask? I think it has to be assessed on a case by case basis- I don’t believe there’s one true answer because each scenario has its own set of ingredients and factors that have to be weighed out. What I do believe is that restoration to the public should NOT be quick. It should come with a weighty responsibility of demonstrated repentance and commitment to a life lived differently fraught with accountability all around. There should be submission to a trusted, vetted authority (therapist, consultant, someone with experience and capacity to provide wisdom and correction) who can consistently attest to their genuine progress. The church, if we’re speaking of a pastor’s moral failure, should have full transparency of the circumstances and be part of the forgiveness and restoration process. They need to see first hand how Godly people handle these scenarios- not by sweeping it under the rug or watering down the events to save face- but by being honest and clear with their intentions and expectations of this person. This process has to always include regular reminders that we never stop loving this person in their hurt and struggle, we are all human after all and we have ALL sinned and fallen short of God's glory. We don’t know what all led this person to get to the moment they are in- again shameless plug -MANDATORY screening and therapy for all in ministry / Christian front line leadership !- and therefore we owe them compassion even in our correction. Who knows what good God can make from the momentary mess? 

What do YOU think? Psalm 51:17- read and reflect.